Fake Violence is A.O.K.

Breaking Bonaduce just broke my fucking heart. I was sobbing like a baby. I want a kid. You don't have to worry about yourself when you have a kid, you just worry about the kid. I think I could be a good dad. I wouldn't have to go to rehab and I wouldn't cheat on the kid's mother and I wouldn't try to kill myself and my kid would love me unconditionally and it would rule.

Tonight I was groped by girls I've never met before more times than ever. Three times. I was more concerned about my wallet with four dollars in it being stolen than the general pleasure cause by a girl rubbing my bottom and thereabouts while dry humping another girl. Maybe that's natural, though. People don't want their wallet stolen. The girls laughed at me when I finally walked away.

I'm watching a movie called Maniac. It's kind of scary. The guy is a schitzophrenic who scalps women and nails their scalps to mannequins heads he keeps in his apartment. I used to worry that I would be schitzophrenic one day. It runs in the family. I think it sure would explain a lot. I can't even spell the word right and I'm too lazy to look it up. I wish the voices in my head would tell me how to spell it correctly. Oh, shit, this movie is violent! That ruled! Tom Savini knows his gore. Now the guy just handcuffed himself to one of his mannequins and he's sobbing like I was during Breaking Bonaduce. I'm going to stop drawing comparisons between me and this fictious character now so people won't think I want to start scalping prostitutes... because I don't. Seriously.

So, yeah, I got randomly groped by ladies and I saw a plethora of beautiful, pert breasts hanging out everywhere I looked, but it still kind of seemed like a shitty night where I went out when I didn't really want to in the first place. Jon and Mike's Black Flag band was good, though, even though I feel like I'm too old and fat and tired all the time to get into music like that anymore.

I need to get a job and play some basketball and start eating better and start reading better books. Shit Magnet is an easy enough read, but god it's stressing me out. I guess I don't relate to real violence very well.

Gotta go, this lady is about to get killed in some weird way. Fake violence is a.o.k. But not for my kid that I want that I will probably never have. Word.