I'm plotting revenge against someone who... well, let's keep it at someone. And since living well is the best revenge according to some random-ass clergyman poet, I'm going to start living well, motherfuckas. I'm going to be healthy. I'm going to... uh... I don't know what. How do you "live well"? Maybe I should work on my appearance. I would like to be pleasant to look at. Maybe it will help me trick some girl into kissing me. So, how do I go about being attractive? Should I start paying more than 13 dollars for a haircut? Maybe. I'm totally balding now. It's fucking bullshit. I hate haircuts. Do you think a 20 dollar job would help me, though? What about a 50 dollars job? FUCK! That's alotta dough for my thinning dome pubes. I don't know. I need help. I need a life coach. No more running half miles! A full mile or nothing! No more listening to Neil Young's "Only Love Can Break Your Heart" on repeat all night (after tonight, that is). No more diet cheating. I bought fucking crackers to snack on today. Healthy ones! They say "garden" in the title. Gotta get good looking eating crackers!
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
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4 Comments:
ill be your life coach bro.
look at me i got it all together!
Jon will kill me for damaging his street cred, but he spends $25+ on haircuts nowadays. I forced him to go to my stylist, and he's never looked more dapper.
(it's worth the money)
(you'll feel more confident)
Dude we seem to have some similiarities. 1) I am balding. 2) I am trying to lose weight.
To cure MY balding problem I shaved my head. There's nothing worse than that guy who is desperately clinging to that thinning mess on his head.
I am down from 240 to 225 roughly. Basically I just stopped drinking anything but water and juice, and stopped eating out, and started using my elliptical more.
P.S. - Fuck life coaches.
Are you going to come up next weekend with Eric?
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